Monday, September 24, 2012

Honest Emotions - Anger and Empathy

Anger and Happiness - Both Honest Emotions

Anger

I am angry. I am not ashamed of how angry I am at those who perpetrate horrible state systems such as the Federal Reserve.  Of course it is not hard to admit negative feelings at those who use fogging, euphemistic language to cover up the crime of stealing from the poor and unborn through a legalized monopoly of counter-fitting.  The hypocrisy of being a counter-fitter while railing to the world about the evils of counter-fitters is abominable.

It is much more hard to accept the anger I feel towards those who, with full knowledge of the situation, not only do not object, but omit discussion of the truth.  I will no longer give any sanction to those who have full knowledge of the evil deeds of others, but chose to keep quiet about it.  The silence of conformity is literally killing millions of people, turning tens of millions to drugs and other self abuses, and subjecting hundreds of millions to brain deadening forced indoctrination.

My parents, my mentors, and my educators all individually chose not to discuss the robbery, blood, and outright evil of the various state activities of which whey were fully aware. It find this is the case for almost every other person I have met.  Their motives are not important.  No internal motive to hold back truth can ever come close to the external destruction caused by turning away from truth.





I will no longer be silent in the face of wrong doers.  I will no longer be silent in the face of those who focus on the sea shells as a tsunami rises before them.  I will no longer be silent when a my own father states that he is not so sure that an entire class of people should not be killed.





I will no longer be silent when former loved ones argue over which potential political hood ornament on the Mac truck of the state likes dogs, or will support their pet position.  I will not be silent as those around me argue over where the golden gun of the state should be aimed.  They argue over who should be threatened by the golden gun without once stopping to ask why they are supporting threats of any kind.

Empathy

The more and more I have worked on my own ability to emapthise with both myself and with others; the more I see the cold detached nature of those who have destroyed their own self-empathy and empathy for others.  I see those who will talk to you for paragraphs on end not pausing to show respect to your understanding, reaction, or experiences of what they have said.  I see people who ask almost no questions of those around them.  They have all of their answers worked out in their head, and are only looking for confirmation.

It breaks my heart to have to be working through these issues even with my dearest partner.  Recently we talked for quite some time about emotions, empathy and experiences.  In our initial conversation she asked one question of me to every ten questions I asked to her.  Of course my empathy (such as it is so far) allows me to see the horrible training she received as a child.  I see that no one who claimed to love her, took the time to really question how she experienced her life. 

Above all, I know she values truth and honesty even in the face of huge pain. Later that evening, she showed a glimmer of empathy which I took as a sign that it was safe for me to open up.  We confronted these issues, and she listened with an open mind and real curiosity.  In this case she acknowledged her pains but did not let them run her.

In the week since, she has made a concerted effort to ask more questions and see the world from my experience.  It is very rough going for her but she is vigilant and driven.  The best part is that she is not showing change to benefit me; no she is much more wonderfully selfish.  She is showing change to benefit her.  She has see a spot in herself that she did not like, and she has not backed away.  She has the bravery to take on the demons given to her long ago and demonstrate her command over her future.

We all command our futures weather we want to admit it or not.  I am continuing to make every effort to change myself into the hero I want to be.  I will not stop improving, not ever.

Reflection

This blog post was written while I felt a huge amount of anger, anxiety, and fear.  It is very probable that you also felt strong emotions in reading this post.  Emotions are very important clues to our experiences of our past.  If you find yourself emotionally charged, I invite you to look into yourself and see where you have felt this feeling before.  I can guarantee you that I am not transmitting emotions to you over the wires of the internet.

2 comments:

Sharon Moore said...

This is an amazing post. I am so proud of you for expressing how you truly feel. It can be very scary, but once you do it, you feel like the world has lifted from you shoulders. I am happy to continue to learn and grow with you on this amazing adventure.

Damon Smith said...

Thank you for the feedback Sharon. I must admit when I saw just now that someone had commented, my stomach dropped. I was terrified of reading a reaction. I did not hesitate to click it though, as avoiding fear helps no one. I am so happy at least one person stands by my side curious of my inner self.