Saturday, November 03, 2012

Embracing Self - Using Facebook to Step off the Cliff

Today found myself posting responses to quite a few links and images I found on my Facebook news feed.  Many of these responses were much more honest, open, and deep than I had been in the past.

In the last week or so I have begun to come to terms with the powerful link between my level self honesty and my happiness level as a whole.  Any time I am honest and expressive of my emotions and thoughts, I have been finding great clarity.  As I express my honesty, great relationships have been getting stronger, and weak ones have been falling away.  At the same time my destructiveness relationships have been revealed for the negative influence that they are.  Once revealed, I have had no second thoughts about dropping them by the wayside.

Where things are sticky for me is where my thoughts and feelings are in conflict with the thoughts and feelings cherished by others in my life.  Of course, there really is no conflict at all.  My thoughts and feelings are only my own.  Presenting the truth of my experience does not conflict with the experiences of any other person.

Since there is no conflict, the fear and anxiety is about how others will react to my expressions of honesty and truth.  Will they see the honesty as a virtue wroth celebrating no matter how it compares to their thoughts and feelings?  Or will they see the honesty as an attack which must be defended against at all costs.

I have been finding this to be the case even in the best relationship I have.  With the dense history both Sharon and I individually have behind ourselves. I have been finding that it is effective to mute my own feelings in a conversation in order to avoid defenses within her.  I have also confirmed that she has been doing the same thing.  We are going to slowly start trying a new strategy.  Instead of avoiding triggering defenses, we will strive to identify defenses as they occur.  In calling out the truth of a defense, its power is defused.

Back on Facebook, I have started posting more and more photos and links about voluntarism, anarchism, respect for children, and respect for self.  Up until this point I had been focusing on only the perceived "positive" thoughts of rational, enlightened philosophy, but in doing so, I felt I was only telling half truths.  In order to hold up the virtues of positive thought and actions, I must equally be wiling to condemn the injustices of past thoughts and actions.  The live and let live attitude does not work when other's bigotries and fictions are directly impacting one's well being.

I would like to try a new strategy; honesty and trust.  I will strive to put more and more of myself out there for all to see.  I will respect others enough to trust that they have the option to be honorable in their response to my posts.  If they are, I will find new and stronger compatriots along the road of life.  If they respond without honor and virtue, they will have stated clearly what they value in their relationships.

Whew, lots of thoughts, and so much more to say. I hope to see you around the internet, and I hope to hear more and more about the thoughts and feelings stimulated by my posts, and by things in your life that you find meaningful and important.